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[都市情缘] 【公车上的骄傲】作者：不详

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2011-12-4 10:44  显示全部帖子
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感觉楼主写的太多是自己的感觉了，少了一些前戏和调情了，这样一来感觉太枯燥了，应该多一些前戏的，这样一来贴子才会好看，建议楼主去看下美女律师张丹彤，那篇前戏就写得很好，继续努力啊，楼主

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